If your girlfriend wants to break up with you, or if she’s pulling away from you and acting increasingly distant and unattracted to you, then you need to know how to handle this situation the right way. Handle the situation the wrong way and you could lose her forever.
When a woman has lost attraction for a man to the point where she believes she has no choice but to end the relationship, it’s not enough to simply pull away to restore attraction.
A woman’s emotions must be spiked, and her cortisol levels lit ablaze if you’re to have any chance at keeping the relationship alive. In other words, you must make a woman feel dread and anxiety to capture her interest and reignite the passion in your relationship.
But why would you want to instill dread and anxiety in a woman just to capture her interest? After all, isn’t a warm and loving relationship all about fighting through the tough times and showing a woman how much you care, even when she pulls away from you and makes your life difficult? Isn’t it better to forgive and forget than to stir up trouble?
The path to forgiveness is littered with the broken bodies of countless men who once extolled the virtues of love and kindness only to be left broken and defeated on the scrapheap of rejection.
When a woman wants to end the relationship, all the love and kindness in the world won’t bring her back to you. In this situation, you must use a more powerful strategy. You must introduce dread and uncertainty into the relationship to rebuild value and restore interest.
Induce Dread if Your Girlfriend Wants to Break Up
Introducing dread and uncertainty into the relationship sends several signals to a woman all at once: first, you’re telling the woman you’re high value and you have options; second, you make her feel anxious, which captures her attention; third, you become a scarce resource and thus become more valuable; and fourth, the woman feels as though she’s about to lose you forever.
She thought she was the one with all the power, now she’s forced to re-evaluate that assumption. Remember, the purpose of dread is to recalibrate a woman’s emotions and rebuild attraction. Listed below are some of the most effective ways to rebuild attraction if your girlfriend wants to break up with you or if she is acting cold and distant in the relationship.
— Tell her you miss being single and you’re not sure if you want to be in a relationship. This sudden desire for freedom will trigger her fear of loss receptors, bringing her attention squarely back onto you.
— Openly and without shame look at other women in public and talk about how attractive they are.
— Ignore her phone calls and text messages for days on end, forcing her to come to you in a sweat-induced panic as she tries to find out what’s going on.
— Post pictures of yourself on social media with other women around you.
— Text and call other women in front of her. You can also text other people while she’s with you. When she asks who you’re talking to, keep things vague by telling her to “relax, it’s just a friend.”
— Start exercising (if you don’t already), buy new clothes, and wear nice fragrances. She’ll notice these subtle changes and she’ll start to wonder whether or not you’re seeing other women.
— Go on dates with other women. If she finds out, shrug and tell her you thought she wouldn’t mind given her current behavior.
— Tell her you’re going to have sex with other women and that she doesn’t need to bother you again with her lack of sex and shitty attitude. This will trigger intense feelings of jealousy in conjunction with the fear of losing you—a double dose of anxiety that’s guaranteed to make her work that much harder to keep you.
— Lightly spray yourself with a woman’s fragrance. When she asks why you smell of perfume, tell her you were sampling fragrances. It’s no lie, you were, but she won’t believe it for a second.
— Tell her you’re going away on holiday and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to speak to her while you’re away. She’ll wonder where you’re going and who you’re going with. Again, it’s better to keep things vague. Let anxiety and space work to your advantage.
A lot of men are terrified that if they implement these strategies they’ll lose a woman forever. The reality is if you don’t implement these strategies you will lose her forever, especially if your girlfriend or wife has already withdrawn from the relationship and no longer respects you.
As a general rule, when employing these strategies, the less said the better. You must never apologize for your behavior or show any sign of weakness. If your girlfriend wants to break up, and tells you this, then you must resolve the situation through action as opposed to words.
Studies show that women are more attracted to men who put them into a fearful and anxious state. Once more, anxiety proves to be a crucial component of attraction.
One study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that women are more likely to find men attractive after they’ve taken a ride on a roller coaster. The study found that “residual arousal from riding the roller-coaster intensified the participants’ later experience of attraction.”
In a follow-up study conducted by McKendree University, researchers discovered that feelings of physical arousal and attraction don’t stem exclusively from fear and anxiety. The McKendree study noted that 15 minutes of exercise was enough to elevate a woman’s adrenaline to the point where she was more likely to experience feelings of attraction for another person.
Case Study: Anxiety Breeds Attraction
When Aiden got home he opened his laptop and checked his email—only on the screen it wasn’t his inbox. The browser was logged in to his wife’s email account. Aiden was about to sign out when he noticed an email addressed to his wife Maria. The email was from a man he had never heard of before, and the subject line read: “RE: Can’t stop thinking about you.”
Suspicious, Aiden opened the email, then spent the next hour trawling through Maria’s inbox. It wasn’t long before Aiden discovered that his wife of two years was having an emotional affair with a colleague at work.
From what Aiden could see, Maria was the one chasing the guy. Her co-worker didn’t even seem to be that interested or responsive. He was just being polite by responding to her emails. Now it all made perfect sense—the lack of sex, the cold, disrespectful behavior. Aiden finally understood why his wife was pulling away from him and didn’t want to be around him anymore.
Later that day, when Maria came home from work, Aiden decided to confront her and find out what was going on. Maria didn’t deny the charges against her. She told Aiden she still loved him but she was no longer attracted to him. This was the reason, she said, why she no longer wanted to have sex with him and why she had considered having an affair with her colleague (if only her colleague had been interested).
Aiden was devastated. He buried his head in his hands and sobbed. Maria sat on the couch, cold and emotionless. She was surprised to discover that she felt nothing. No emotion or pity. If anything, she was relieved. Relieved she no longer had to pretend she cared about the relationship. Relieved she no longer had to make excuses not to have sex.
As Aiden continued to sob, Maria took a moment to think about Matt—the only man she had ever truly loved. What happened to Matt and why did he leave her? Maria had conveniently forgotten that she had once treated Matt the same way she was now treating Aiden. She had flirted with other guys and she was often cold and dismissive, only Matt was different to Aiden.
At the first sign of trouble, Matt told Maria he was happy she was flirting with other guys because he loved talking to other women too. Maybe they could even have an open relationship. Maria didn’t like the sound of that. She tried throwing a tantrum and even threatened to leave, but Matt simply responded by disappearing from her life.
When Matt finally resurfaced a couple of weeks later, he didn’t even apologize. From that point on, Maria decided she would make it her mission to win Matt over. She would pour all her energy into him and make him fall in love with her. Unfortunately, things hadn’t worked out the way she had planned.
Now, as Maria sat in the living room with Aiden weeping in front of her, all she could think about was Matt. Where was he and what was he doing? Would he still remember her? Maria wondered if she still had Matt’s number lying around somewhere.
Anxiety Creates Sexual Tension
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found evidence for heightened levels of sexual attraction in conditions where high levels of anxiety exist. In one example, the study found that men and women are likely to throw caution to the wind and indulge in extremely promiscuous behavior during times of war. This desire for sexual intercourse arises, not from a state of safety and security, but from a state of fear and anxiety.
Because the purpose of humanity is to reproduce, an imminent threat to life triggers extreme levels of sexual desire to ensure the survival of the species. It is, however, still easy to activate this fear/sex response in women by injecting uncertainty and anxiety into a dying relationship.
Part of the reason why so many people stay in toxic relationships stems from the fact that toxic relationships are the perfect breeding ground for anxiety. One unusual aspect of stress is that key stress hormones are also responsible for eliciting pleasure in the brain.
As a result, women can become addicted “biochemically” to stressful, negative, or life-threatening situations when they become hooked on the chemical release that occurs during stressful situations. This is the primary reason why a woman can be so angry and upset with a man, yet find him so attractive at the same time.
Fear and dread are closely linked to human survival. Implementing dread game is a simple way to trick a woman’s brain into thinking her survival is at stake. At a biological level, inducing dread activates a woman’s fear receptors, releasing endorphins, cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine into the woman’s body, causing wave after wave of anxiety and sexual tension.
This chemical release now brings the woman’s focus onto the source of her anxiety—you. And just as your girlfriend wants to break up with you, you once more become the focus of her attention.