If your girlfriend ignores your messages and leaves you on unread, what should you do? While it does feel disrespectful when this happens, you want to make sure you handle this situation in the most attractive way.
First, let’s get into an email and go through a situation of a guy who is dealing with this exact same problem. My thoughts and comments are in bold.
Hey Chris, my girlfriend doesn’t seem to be as loving as she was when we first met. I feel like her attraction has gone down over the last two months. She doesn’t seem to be as excited to message me as she was before.
If you’re messaging all the time, you’re never going to maintain the same level of attraction as you did in the beginning. You can’t keep talking for hours each day and expect her attraction to stay the same. Relationships change and evolve over time. What was exciting in the beginning becomes boring over time. You need to adapt to the situation.
We were messaging every day, and everything was great. Although now she isn’t being as affectionate and isn’t saying I love you anymore. She took a long time to get back to me and say good night, and one night she didn’t even respond to the message I sent her. We were having a conversation, and I sent a message back at 8:30, and she didn’t get back to me.
If you message her every day, you’ll get into a routine and become predictable to her. Then, she’ll get bored because you’re too available and responsive. You’ll become predictable and boring, and then she will start messaging you less.
I wanted to have a FaceTime date at the time, and she said I’ll let you know. So I backed off. At the second time of asking, I said let me know for definite, and we can arrange it. So I’m going to work out and do my thing. I’ll talk to you later. She didn’t respond to my message.
I guess she’s not too fired up about calling you later. Why would that be?
If a woman ignores your messages and leaves you on unread, it’s irritating and annoying. It does feel disrespectful as well. This is because you’re thinking like a guy, which means you’re thinking with logic. You reason that out of 24 hours in a day, she can find 10 seconds to shoot you a simple message. But women don’t think that way. They respond to their emotions and their feelings, not logic.
If you expect that she will message you back, you can expect to be disappointed. They don’t say expectations are the root of suffering for no reason. If you expect her to respond within an hour, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. If she always responded quickly in the past, it doesn’t mean she will respond quickly in the future.
She might have pulled away and ignored your message for any number of reasons. She might feel bored. She might feel as though you’re too available and responsive. She might feel as though you’re too relationship-focused. She might feel the need to test you. And yes, she might even be busy or sleeping or tired.
If you don’t hear back from her, it’s important not to panic. You must let her come to you and never double-text her. You sent the last message, so she must send the next message. There are a lot of subtle elements at play here. But waiting for a woman to message you shows her one crucial thing: you can walk away, and you’re high-value.
I’ve seen women disappear for 1-2 weeks, which is normal. Women sometimes disappear for a month, then come back and act like everything is normal even though their behavior is anything but normal.
If she’s testing you, it’s because she wants to see how you behave and how you react. Does she have more power in the relationship, or do you? In other words, does she care more, or do you? If you care more, you fail her test. This is because women are, by nature, relationship-focused, and men are mission-focused.
Did she ignore your goodnight message or leave your good-morning message on unread? If so, it’s a sign that you need to back off and give her space. This is a hard pattern to break. But it’s a pattern that you need to break.
You can’t keep sending good-morning and goodnight messages forever. She will send you a goodnight/good-morning message when she feels like it. All you have to do is be there for her when she’s ready to express her emotions.
If you try to call her out for ignoring your message, she’ll do one of two things: pretend that it was an accident. Then continue to ignore your messages as she now knows you are relationship-focused.
If you reveal your displeasure at her behavior, she will pull even further away from you. Is she acting disrespectful? Sure she is. Can you call her out and expect her to change? No.
If you show her you aren’t affected when she ignores your messages, she’ll find you even more impressive. She will come back to you with even more attraction.
Will she continue to ignore your messages sometimes? Yes. Will she continue to pull away and test you? 100% she will. Will you lose her? Absolutely not. All you have to do is let her go and come back when she’s ready.